Many families are floating like a ship without a rudder because parents have not taken special care to establish values.
You could most probably describe a family you know well and help me to get to know them by telling me what they are like. In doing this you are letting me see them through your eyes. What is seen is what a family are known for? This is the best way to describe family values.
At the moment we are all locked away due to the global pandemic we know as COVID-19. This means we are not interacting with each other in the same way. I’d like to propose that this is a perfect time to discuss, challenge, dream and redefine what your family is known for.
Establishing values is the role of family leaders, and this falls to the parents. By establishment I mean making permanent those things that are important.
Establishing family values is something the entire family can be a part of.
PHIL STRONG
In my first book, Becoming Money Wise, I outlined a process to help people define their financial values. The reason this is so important is that what we value determines what we do. That means, your money follows your heart. In this case, I thought it might help you to have some questions that you could discuss around a family table. I always find that sharing a meal is a good time to initiate these convo’s.
In BMW, the question I pose to readers is “what is truly important to us?” This question forces you to dig deep, especially if you follow with “why is that important to us?” Make sure you dig below the surface; shallow answers are not good answers.
How to establish values.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, a good question would be “what do you want your family to be known for?” This is about the message you send by the way you choose to live.
Another good question, which is asked in my book, Building a Strong Family, is “how powerful is the imprint you leave on others?” For the sake of this exercise, and seeing as you may be starting with a blank page, perhaps this question could be worded as,
“what positive imprint would we like to leave on the people we meet?”
This could be answered by thinking about what they would say about you after you’d left their home.
“When people can experience what you stand for and who you are, they are willing to take down barriers and open themselves up to you. What a privilege. is has allowed me to pour encouragement into people all over the world through our stories. But more than that, my family has been blessed by so many people who have opened their homes and their hearts to us.“
(Excerpt from chapter 2, Help your family to be proud of their identity.)
Establish values, establish direction.
The point of knowing what your values are is to have a clear compass that guides your decisions. When you lock in your family values you must publish them (maybe stick them to the fridge) and then choose to look at all decisions you make through the lens of what is important to you. By making a decision that compromises your values you are compromising the strength of your family.
Whether it’s helpful to note this or not, I’m confident your kids will remind you of what you published on the front of the fridge! Your goal is to use your values to guide your family.
- This is the third message in a series prepared to support you to build a strong family while you’re stuck at home. Check here for other messages.
- You can grab a free preview of my book here.
- If you want to access my book, Building a Strong Family on Kindle, click here.
